or maybe i’d just make a diorama.

it would take way too long
for me to
write out all of the
things i do not know
and like it would be
a nightmare like how would
i organize it alphabetically
maybe inverse order based
upon what i ‘should’ know
like gosh that’s intimidating
to think of putting into writing
and wait how would i even
be able to express what i don’t know
if like um
i don’t know it so then i’d have to
decide do i begin with at least two major
categories things i know i don’t know
and things i don’t even know at all

let’s breathe together ok

anyway

i love you and right yes what i do know is

you make your daddy very happy.

one-man life jacket

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sometimes metaphors

come to life

for just a moment

and sometimes

we are fortunate enough

that capture that moment.

(also sometimes
we’re lucky enough
that our arms look
amaaaziiiiiing
in that moment and gosh
look how sweet she is
rubbing her eyes oh my
darling and my love)

in da kitchen in my bwain

me am sleepy

go to sleep then

but me am no tired

what

i don’t know look it’s taken me twenty minutes to make this pbj and another seven to take one bite

what on earth does that have to do with being sleepy but not tired and why were you talking like that at first

*shrugs while chewing the second bite*

sure was a hot one today

why are you doing small talk

i dunno you were chewing and you started this conversation. i was ill-prepared to fill the void.

that’s what he said

k gnight

duchess/and then she spoke and said

an eyebrow flung itself above
the frame of her glasses

its arc traveled no more than a quarter inch
and
it rocked him back nonetheless

you know you dropped me the last time
we tried this

i know he said not looking away
i’ve been practicing

her eyes went back to her book
yes a real live book 

the page whispered as she turned it
he politely held his ground in silence
as
a few more pages whispered and then
she spoke and said 

i like having my feet rubbed.

 

i am better off without her (i gave to the wrong ‘her’)

i am better off without her

he is telling the truth

before i met her, i was happier

yes, true, although it doesn’t take much
to be happier than he is now

i was married and lived
with my family in a nice
house and not alone in
a tiny apartment 

i weighed twenty pounds less
and had thicker hair and
and friends.

he is telling the truth

our relationship started as an affair

true

and she was never going to be willing
to introduce me to her world

sadly, true

we loved each other fiercely
and both perfectly and imperfectly
and we hurt each other a lot
and at times both crept
towards the edge of suicidal

true

i am better off without her
i am less anxious i no longer
await learning that she’s left me again
since she is gone and i have made a
commitment to myself and my daughter
not to contact her again because
my life is in ruins because i gave
to the wrong ‘her.’

true

i still think of her every day
nearly every hour and the quiet almost gentle
rage 
and envy and sadness built inside of me

all of these are equaled and surpassed
by how much i love her, still. 

and probably always will
even if i never ever act like it
again

he writes from his bed at 2 am
telling very much the truth.