how i admire her

i spent the 10 o’clock to whenever-i-publish-this-o’clock hour(s)

researching prefixes and suffixes of
metalic ions because i wanted to write
a proesm about some woman i know


and wanted to use the literary device of metaphor
aptly to compare her to metal but like see i was gonna
create a ‘new’ metal by taking


her first and middle names and adding
the appropriate suffix within chemistry nomenclature
for the molecule/ion/whatever
that is most like her


* * *

  1. i learned more about chemistry and molecules and ions and stuff in the last seventy-five minutes than i ever did in high school or college. probably because i’m on two types of adhd medication now and since i’m researching in regards to a really hot woman who likes having sex with me, i’m a bit more inspired
  2. after deciding which metallic/chemistry ionic whatever ‘thing’ was most like her[1. she’s an anion, i didn’t like how any of those suffixes looked or sounded. seriously i can’t be writing a piece about how friggin’ amazing she is while utilizing the suffix  ‘-ide’ or ‘-ate’. we’re not savages, people. so, obviously, since all of that research for the perfect word resulted in the perfect word not being aesthetically pleasing, i just ditched the idea
  3. i decided that the ‘piece’ – the miracle of creation driven by my awe and reverence to the woman she is every minute of every day –

like, seriously, ya’ll,

asleep on the couch
buried in a furry blanket
sick and exhausted and spent
herSelf inspired me to spend an hour and fifteen minutes
researching chemistry
(i found this page in purdue university’s chemistry dept to be most helpful)
in hopes of harnessing an idea
intending to express

how i admire her.



princess flecked with leaves and love

when she saw me in the hall
windowed door behind me
friends and dirt beyond

her smile well beyond

shaking giggling she bounded
towards me and i scooped her up
threw open the door
that was behind and is again
behind me because we went
onto the playground and we played hide and seek and we played walking tag and we played duck duck goose and we played whats your favorite food with a dozen three and four year olds oh and we played three little pigs and big bad wolf with a four foot plastic triangular ladder i have no idea how no one got hurt and we sang abcs while she danced on a wooden stage

and at one point i turned
and saw her face down sobbing

she had tripped, you see
while out of my line of sight
the fifty big and little people on the playground with us disolved
i slid her into my lap
and held her like a daddy does
and god the sun struck
tears welled in her blue eyes
highlighting streaks of tears already fallen carving tracks down sweet dirty cheeks
and then she was ok

because four year old fox scarlett princesses are indestructable

and we played more
and she hugged me
many many times
before allowing me
to go home

her tattoos look nice with my own

her name is joy.

ok no like seriously it’s her actual name
yes i mean metaphor and she happens to
be joy(ful) but for real her name is joy



when i think about her – like with intent,
well beyond the awareness one has
of things that exist, like on purpose,

i kinda just stop for a second
or four
and it’s not a sigh what is it ummmmmmmm

i just kinda do a breathe-and-hold-and-exhale
that’s different than how i, joel, normally breathe

noun verb qualifier > noun verb

so here’s where the verb-to-qualifier
thing makes such a difference
to the speaker to the audience:

noun verb/‘it broke’

see here ‘broke’ is a verb
there is no doubt that a thing
once whole broke and that kinda sounds like the end of that story like my pencil broke ok toss that shit let’s get a new one the lamp broke trash that pos and let’s go to target

noun verb qualifier/‘it is/was broken’

awwwwwwwww shiyutsee this is something
we can work with

there’s something about the language here that indicates what is or was broken can and will be or is already again whole. this isn’t the end of the story.

status is damn near always temporary. noun verb qualifier indicating status/i am tired/i am hungry/i am wearing a blue shirt/i am depressed/i need to poop

if the status of one is broken/brokenness, that status can and will be changed. which is why the author would argue that the noun qualified as broken never actually broke.