the human heart is a fallen heart. a heart inclined to violence, anger, guile. a heart that too often finds joy in the triumph over others, in being “right”, in forging defeat in the heart of another.
the human heart is ugly.
it is a liar.
it dwells within a den of thieves, most comfortable in dimly lit corners.
the truth of our heart is a truth we would rather not know.
so we ignore it. we blame others for the ugly nature of ourselves.
we mistake the shadow of our own hearts for darkness in others.
we fight. we war with neighbors and friends. we create a dichotomy, a split, of the “us” and “them”. people who are still people are suddenly the enemy.
because we need them to be, because we have to be valuable, we have to be right, because if we aren’t right, then what are we?
* * *
i am so tired of the angry nature of the human heart. i am so tired of one-upsmanship, of watching people argue to be right, not to do right.
it is exhausting.
my emotionally wiring allows things like this wear on me. political pandering, religious zealotry, social movements and anti-movements . . .
they hurt – they shake the inside of me. my teeth hurt. my bones are tired. argument to win is a fool’s errand. argument without Love, only the lust of being right, is . . . worthless.
it makes us all uglier.
inciting anger simply to incite anger is . . . vile. why? why incite instead of invite conversation? why create an enemy instead of fostering a relationship?
* * *
i know we’ve argued many times. i know we’ve fought over issues both silly or inane and issues that are more than we’ve allowed ourselves to actually discuss.
what i want to say is,
in a world of men and women whose hearts beat to hurt one another, to be more right than human, to make enemies because friends have the ability to hurt us,
i will always Love you. i will always protect you as best i can and push you and guide you and any argument we ever have will be because i Love you and want to talk with you.
i will never be your enemy. my heart will always beat for you, for your well being and your happiness, for your life to be full and wonderful and exciting and fruitful.
in a place where people take sides instead of taking stands,
i will always be on your side. i will always stand for you.
i swear it, dear.