Sweet Girl,

i will never meet you
and you are so lovely
and so brave.

i will be honest,
i don’t understand.

i’ve known your parents
a very long time.
i was their friend
when they realized
they loved and love
each other.

one time they hugged
each other for something like
thirty seconds when i was
with them in the kitchen
just the three of us and
it was beyond awkward
but that’s how they
have always loved each other.

and, i can only assume,
it’s how they will love you,


i love you, Sweet Girl.

i’m sorry you never got
to go home
but from what little i do
understand, you are Home.

we are very sad here
and i am so very sad
for my friends and


it’s just very sad.
sometimes that’s the
most honest thing to say.

we are happy you are Home
and sad you are not home.

we love you, and goodnight.

nigh nigh

i like to hold my little girl
her name is scarlett houston
and sing to her at night
and feel her head grow heavy
and press into my chest
and her sweet and tiny fingers
pinch the fabric of my tshirt sleeve
and she holds on to her daddy
and says ‘bubbles’
or ‘nigh nigh’
at descending levels of volume
until i shush my singing
and say to her i love you
and she knows now is goodnight
and leans from my arms
over her crib and i lower her down
and she collects her blanket and her fox
and her bunny and her thoughts
and says ‘nigh nigh’ again.