*shrug*

i believe that the lie
most often told to
ourselves is i don’t
know almost always we
do know we just do
not know how to say
whatever it is we know
or yet how to find
what it is that we know
or feel comfortable
expressing or willing
to deal with the
discomfort of thought
stirring up dust in
rooms we have learned
to avoid

princess flecked with leaves and love

when she saw me in the hall
windowed door behind me
friends and dirt beyond

her smile well beyond
joy

shaking giggling she bounded
towards me and i scooped her up
turned
threw open the door
that was behind and is again
behind me because we went
onto the playground and we played hide and seek and we played walking tag and we played duck duck goose and we played whats your favorite food with a dozen three and four year olds oh and we played three little pigs and big bad wolf with a four foot plastic triangular ladder i have no idea how no one got hurt and we sang abcs while she danced on a wooden stage

and at one point i turned
and saw her face down sobbing

she had tripped, you see
while out of my line of sight
and
the fifty big and little people on the playground with us disolved
and
i slid her into my lap
and held her like a daddy does
and god the sun struck
tears welled in her blue eyes
highlighting streaks of tears already fallen carving tracks down sweet dirty cheeks
and then she was ok

because four year old fox scarlett princesses are indestructable

and we played more
and she hugged me
many many times
before allowing me
to go home

her tattoos look nice with my own

her name is joy.

ok no like seriously it’s her actual name
yes i mean metaphor and she happens to
be joy(ful) but for real her name is joy

and

hm

when i think about her – like with intent,
well beyond the awareness one has
of things that exist, like on purpose,

i kinda just stop for a second
or four
and it’s not a sigh what is it ummmmmmmm

i just kinda do a breathe-and-hold-and-exhale
that’s different than how i, joel, normally breathe

noun verb qualifier > noun verb

so here’s where the verb-to-qualifier
thing makes such a difference
to the speaker to the audience:

noun verb/‘it broke’

see here ‘broke’ is a verb
there is no doubt that a thing
once whole broke and that kinda sounds like the end of that story like my pencil broke ok toss that shit let’s get a new one the lamp broke trash that pos and let’s go to target

noun verb qualifier/‘it is/was broken’

awwwwwwwww shiyutsee this is something
we can work with

there’s something about the language here that indicates what is or was broken can and will be or is already again whole. this isn’t the end of the story.

status is damn near always temporary. noun verb qualifier indicating status/i am tired/i am hungry/i am wearing a blue shirt/i am depressed/i need to poop

if the status of one is broken/brokenness, that status can and will be changed. which is why the author would argue that the noun qualified as broken never actually broke.