princess flecked with leaves and love

when she saw me in the hall
windowed door behind me
friends and dirt beyond

her smile well beyond
joy

shaking giggling she bounded
towards me and i scooped her up
turned
threw open the door
that was behind and is again
behind me because we went
onto the playground and we played hide and seek and we played walking tag and we played duck duck goose and we played whats your favorite food with a dozen three and four year olds oh and we played three little pigs and big bad wolf with a four foot plastic triangular ladder i have no idea how no one got hurt and we sang abcs while she danced on a wooden stage

and at one point i turned
and saw her face down sobbing

she had tripped, you see
while out of my line of sight
and
the fifty big and little people on the playground with us disolved
and
i slid her into my lap
and held her like a daddy does
and god the sun struck
tears welled in her blue eyes
highlighting streaks of tears already fallen carving tracks down sweet dirty cheeks
and then she was ok

because four year old fox scarlett princesses are indestructable

and we played more
and she hugged me
many many times
before allowing me
to go home

noun verb qualifier > noun verb

so here’s where the verb-to-qualifier
thing makes such a difference
to the speaker to the audience:

noun verb/‘it broke’

see here ‘broke’ is a verb
there is no doubt that a thing
once whole broke and that kinda sounds like the end of that story like my pencil broke ok toss that shit let’s get a new one the lamp broke trash that pos and let’s go to target

noun verb qualifier/‘it is/was broken’

awwwwwwwww shiyutsee this is something
we can work with

there’s something about the language here that indicates what is or was broken can and will be or is already again whole. this isn’t the end of the story.

status is damn near always temporary. noun verb qualifier indicating status/i am tired/i am hungry/i am wearing a blue shirt/i am depressed/i need to poop

if the status of one is broken/brokenness, that status can and will be changed. which is why the author would argue that the noun qualified as broken never actually broke.

scavenger hunt of sorts

so my queen has given unto me
orders to find for her
words
new ones, specifically
which lemme tell you
if we’re speaking off the record
there really is no such thing
at this point as ‘new words’
but i catch her drift and
whether or not i think it’s
feasible to find new words for her

when an itty bitty
warrior queen
asks something of me
’tis my duty as her king
to at least make a seriously game effort

and wait here i’ve got a picture
of the two of us together

IMG_0500

she is so pretty
brave and wild
and come on
look how happy
she is to be with
me on a bridge
that leads to a bench
we didn’t make out on
(yet)

life matters

life matters.

subject: life

verb: matters

whenever i see characters on tv or in movies submerged under water, i instinctively hold my breath for the majority of the scene (which may explain why i blacked out when trying to watch spongebob). i won’t realize i’m doing it until i get light headed – that’s how natural it is for my body to fight to live.

life matters. if you are in a burning building, how quickly do you exit? during severe weather, are you walking the dog or seeking shelter? if a car skids off the road in front of you, do you stop to help or at least mumble ‘i hope they’re ok?’

our initial instinct is to preserve and defend life – our own and of others. it can show in parents staring at the baby monitor even though everything is fine, the fact that life preservers dot the sides of boats and pools, and our own fight or flight response.

***

check it – sports do not matter. they don’t. we call them ‘games’ and the verb associated with them is ‘play.’ sports are an escape – a valuable one, a place where we can learn about and express ourselves through our own competition or being a fan.

sports bring together a nation – the biggest churches on sundays are nfl stadiums, where gladiators and the shield are worshiped (or booed). but the games themselves do not matter at all not one bit. everyone goes home once the clock hits zero.

life is what matters.

a symbol is meaningless if it cannot be understood (i mean, that’s why it’s important to be able to read, ya know?) or if it does not represent the audience.

the greatness of this nation, in principle, is that it is built to be open to interpretation. that is why we are, in theory, a free people, why speech and religion and the press are protected for all citizens.

so we can say and show what we think, feel, and believe.

i’m beyond tired of waking up to the news of another unarmed or unaggressive black man being shot by officers sworn to protect and serve. and i’m damn sure a lot of other people are, too.

there is no ‘but’ or ‘yeah, ok, but what about ______’ in this place.

life matters, period. the life of people and of person. colin kaepernick kneels because he believes life matters and believes, urgently, an earnest and paradigm altering conversation must take place.

considering i’m a middle class white dude, and *i* get nervous imagining myself kneeling during the anthem at an nc state game and the repercussions i might bring upon myself, i see kaepernick as one of the bravest living men in our nation.

he threatened his job security (he’s a backup and nfl contracts are not guaranteed – he could have been immediately cut and blackballed, for all he knew), his safety (he is receiving death threats) and drawing the ire of police sworn to protect (who have threatened not to provide off duty officers to provide security at games until he stands for the anthem).

love is love and love is courageous when love corrects instead of standing idly by. a family that has an intervention for an alcoholic does not hate that person – there is so much love that there is willingness to sacrifice comfort now for a greater

wait for it

 

life

 

in the future.

kaepernick is a patriot because he stands for life for his people and does not cower. kinda sounds like the dudes who threw all that tea into boston harbor because they weren’t represented.

i, too, will kneel, and no, that act unto itself will change nothing, but it will also open up conversations and, honestly, it will just help me sleep a little better to have expressed what i believe as opposed to what others think i should believe and do.